This boy just came into class wearing sperrys and a polo but also carrying a longboard. I'm unequivocably attracted to his level of doucheyness.
Your TV has the DVD menu for White Chicks permanently burned into the screen. I can't anymore. That's just a whole different level that I cannot comprehend.
i love waking up at 5am with an imprint of a toilet seat on my chest
i need you to babysit me first week back at school. havent had tequila, adderal, or sex w randoms in 3 months
she puked as i came inside her. that has to mean something.
I'm not wearing underwear, I started my period this morning, and it's super windy. Recipe for disaster?
Yeah I mean its Vermont, not like id be the first guy to trade pharmaceutical services for beer
We are hot boxing the gondola
I hate everything.
Getting high magically turns headaches into rainbows.
Come over. But instead of sex, will you rub anti itch cream all over my face?
Just sent my mother the text "we need to get our vaginas looked at this thursday". Hows your day going?
The council and I are about to open up a bottle of malort.
UPGATe: THE COUNCIL AND I HAVE AGREED TO BAHN MALORT FROM THE HOUSEHOLD
Because you hugged a homeless guy, and I paid him 5 bucks to give us our giraffe balloon animal back. That's why.
Vagina status: the swelling is going down.
My FIANCE just told me he thought you were the prettiest out of all my friends YOU WHORE
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