we're blogging at a bar
do you think it i'm gay because i was in a 3 way lastnight?
well not if you dont touch the other dude and concentrate on the chic
what chic?
We can make salsa ya know, maybe even some hot sauce. That doesn't mean we're married.
FUCK TREES I CLIMB BUOYS MOTHERFUCKER
STOP listening to that song
I havent dry-humped that much since freshmen year. Forgot how good it doesnt feel.
In The Air Tonight was playing in the dentist's office. Had to stop the cleaner to do the drums.
They past out watching a re-run of the 1984 presidential debate on cspan
You were plastered and wouldn't stop telling this hot girl about your plan to graffiti a church in easter colored spray-paint saying that Jesus was a Zombie... she kept saying her father was a pastor...
we managed to turn Dream Phone into a drinking game. don't hate.
I recommend you throw your keys as far as you can in one direction, your phone as far as you can in the opposite direction, and hold on.
Looks like breakfast in bed is out the window. She can't get up because I "fucked her into paralysis." My stomach is not happy with my dick right now
This election needs to be over, im tired of girls asking who im going to vote for mid hookup
All the drunken hookups over the last year are self destructing, at least something is keeping nursing school interesting
This morning when you were fucking me you said you'd go to the store and get me tampons and a 30 pack
Last night you broke a mirror, and then rolled around in the glass shards. Miraculously, there's not a scratch on you...
Randomize
