it's like everything I expected to see tonight all put together in one at once
that is the greatest description ever
Yeah. He most definitely jizzed himself in the face.
If your 8 lb baby was ham it would serve 6-8 people
i made it my goal to pee in the sink of every apartment we went to last night. i didnt use the toilet once
Sorry I tried to blow your roommate in your room. I felt more at home there.
If you could smell my eyes you'd understand the whole story
Talked to Nate, told him he was a douche. Will give details when sober. It's ok. You're my best friend together a wolf pack. Olive juice.
I couldn't tell if they ere dancing or fucking but they won the costume contest
Totally. Bang on. He'll be fine. He might cry into your perfect tits once in a while, but that's the price ya pay.
Someone had written "Boxmonsterette" on the bathroom wall and I just knew you'd been here.
to drive Frat boys away, one just needs to cat-call at them. It makes their masculinity weaker, and yours stronger.
He had a drawn-on fu manchu and now my vagina has one too.
I was shitfaced. I filled my contact case WITH TANNING LOTION
He's unconstrained by sanity, physics, or his liver.
Dude I'm hungover as fuck in a bed in Baltimore with another man... I don't think I can make it.
Randomize
