Dude sorry i couldnt seem to spell any words right in the texts i sent you last night
I felt like a fucking code breaker.
when did we get to this "texting at random" level on friendship?
I have way too much money in my bra to be responsible.
so high and i think i just ordered a magic bullet.
did you call within the first 18 minutes? can i have the free one?
I just realized I am holding a beer in 133 out of 134 photos of me on my facebook page.
Nobody is perfect
I'm at Waffle House wearing one of the paper hats in the other
No, pictures of your dick will not make me feel better about my grandmother having a brain tumor.
i just added no after every hockey player in my phone..
The fact that I pulled something plastic out of my mouth after taking that shot is starting to concern me.
Yep and i guess after he came back from that he sat down next to me and i just put my hand right on his penis just casually like it was his leg
Seriously, do normal people actually get work done being this hungover? No wonder the economy's in the shitter
The only difference between us and a pack of 14 year old girls is substance abuse
Rob and I are cross faded and the only one taking care of us is a drunk person who's making us dance.
i'm 99% sure they had an orgy while i was passed out
someone just "made it rain" kraft processed sliced cheese. i forgot what it was like to be home...
I think you're overestimating how drunk I was
You said your pillow felt like the ocean...
Randomize
