remind me tomorrow that nothing happen between me and the guy who's shirt i'm wearing
You might not want to sit on your couch. Actually you may want to throw it away. My bad.
So there's dick imprints in the peanut butter
She looks like a junkie muppet...awful
Last time I get high to write a paper the night before it's due. "Tiny Wings and sexuality" is not an acceptable topic to for a paper. Class in 30 minutes. I'm fucked...
I'm texting an actual stripper. A male stripper. I dont wanna talk about it yet
Is it bad that I'm a 32 year old woman that is so afraid of commitment that a hamster is too much responsibility?
I had to rename my dildo. I met a little kid who named his teddy bear the same name. It just felt wrong.
Why is it that the asexual in our group is the one that gets laid the most often??
The twitch Bob Ross stream is the happiest little hangover cure ever.
I planned to shave today but it's Friday the 13th I might cut something
You kept pointing at me and saying I'm getting chicken parmesan and no one is going to stop me
Never underestimate the power of titties
So how do u get your coat out of the coat room when someone is fucking on it?
That's the only way to watch Gumby. Either age 5 or high.
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