you can't get genital warts from dogs can you?
He just refered to Steak and Shake as "a good place for couples". I will definitely not be shacking tonight.
I am currently in the waffle making stage of highness
Just realized the guy is in my class. Unless there's another guy that had half his ear bit off at a St. Patty's party
found a half eaten roll befind my toilet today. my birthday just keeps popping up.
Couldn't get it up. She asked me what she was doing wrong. Didn't have the heart to tell her. I appreciated her willingness to adapt, but she's pretty much gonna look that bad her whole life.
it was like vegas minus all of the penis and death threats
Thanks for the cold. I shartted and sat through a whole soccer game. James made 3 scores.
That kid i sell weed to just had his mom give him a ride over here she waited in the car while he bought a bag
You just yell-acapella'd the theme to fresh prince of bel air to me while a different song is playing in the bar.
It's official. Those are now your come fuck me flipflops
I can't even spell what he said he was on. And I had to call 4 people before someone had heard of it.
I fucked R2D2 last night. I consider Star Wars day a success.
My neighbour just came round to ask why we posted a spatula through his door at 3am. What do I tell him??
Alcohol and I aren't friends right now.
Randomize
