Somerville?? What the hell are you going to do there?
Watch a movie and have sloppy make outs OBVI. 45 Harris St. in case I die.
Is it wierd that I kind of wish I could hang out with Melissa Joan Hart?
imagine if the morning after your status automatically updated with the name of the person you hooked up with
I don't remember her name, all I remember is trying to suck the wedding ring off her finger.
Okay well someone asked "IS HE HOMELESS?" about me so I need to try and find somebody.
I need to have sex with you on our hotel room window ledge... This is a need not a request.
I don't know where Tiffany is but I just saw her shoes in the bar lost and found
He said he was going to "rock my world". I wonder if he too has a false sense of confidence and accomplishment stemming from a complete lack of honesty from our own female counterparts.
There is a BIG difference between doing coke and getting peed on and getting peed on FOR coke
That moment when you notice a tiny IR camera pointing at you, in your bed, at the apartment you found on Craigslist.
Yeah I remember doing the worm in my moms room. While she's yelling at me and I'm making seagull nooises
Overheard a drunk girl talk about how when she's drunk she believes in more than one God
So the revenge porn my ex posted just resulted in a contract with a gay porn company. I'm going to make $8,000 this weekend. That would a breakup checkmate. Are you joining me in the legislative committee hearing tomorrow?
pizza hut and my weed lady just showed up at the same time. I feel 22 again.
I woke up just like any other Wednesday. Naked on the floor, hungover and covered head to toe in lube
Randomize
