5 years of college and never once did they teach us how to respond when you overhear a group of 7th grade boys who are in your class talking about how you're definitely DTF
children are so perceptive these days... and horny
just jacked off in the bed i was conceived in.
im dirt poor will suck dick for halloween costume
college "breaks" should be renamed "reminder why you left your hell hole of a life in the first place"
You were spitting chewed up pretzle into my hands telling me to hold it for you.
He kept telling me how extraordinarily clean my ears were.
Ok, maybe I don't want to know what happened last night... But somehow I guess I moved the oven.
Well after last night I am convinced he is real life Tyler Durden. He only exists to me and somehow keeps me out of jail this entire time
Pounding your chest saying "me Tarzan" is not flirting or even talking
the new numbers in my phone would beg to differ
I asked for my Beats earbuds back and he sent me a pic of them tied around his penis. Now I miss both my great ear buds and his great dick
Why is there puke in my guitar?
Because you puked in your guitar.
I feel like a pile of chihuahua shit that got eaten by a Great Dane who puked it up and then set it on fire.
How the fuck did he think me asking about the possibility of a threesome was a rhetorical question?
She's writing hockey erotica again.
Tell her to pick another team besides ours this time.
I didn’t spend $100 for a wax to sit here and listen to you FT your brother to complain about how bad the Jets are.
Randomize
