So i decided to deal with the awkwardness of last night by making out with all three of them
he needs to stop telling all his friends what my queefs sound like. its getting awkward to be around people who can quote my vagina.
He was like an evil genius with the clitoris. I don't stand a chance.
Great, now justin bieber is gonna sing a song about chile
Just walked by a yard full of girls wearing bikinis. I did my best to stare.
he has a puerto rico area code and says his name is johnny cash. extremely suspect
This is the moment in my life where I take a fork in the "nice guy" road ive traveled for 23 years and fuck everything in sight that doesnt have herpes, or is in-between flare ups and I don't know about it until my dick is on fire.
Dude he's the best wing man ever. He starts creepin' on a woman, and she clings on to you out of fear.
Well going home with a Ralph Lauren model helped me get over him real fuckin' quick. Would recommend it for all women going through breakups
Ever since the Christmas fiasco of '08, I can no longer watch Rudolf the Red nosed reindeer without getting a hard on
We made a pact to go to the nursing home together... that way we could stay high till the bitter end. Do you not remember?
You may have gone on a date, but I ate chicken nuggets shaped like dinosaurs for dinner tonight. I think we both know who the real winner is here.
That's a beautiful sentiment.
First morning at school this semester and I threw up in a bush during my walk of shame.
i told them you weren't like that.. and they laughed at me?
we should get together and get drunk.
On a Monday?
don't discriminate against mondays.
Randomize
