OMG Im so trashed fishy! im sitting hereon my bed wif mcdonalds n i look like david hasselhoff!!!!!! kill me now
just cut a line with my blood donor card...i feel like it will help remind me that i was once a productive member of society.
It's sad that he has such a beautiful cock and doesn't know what to do with it.
I feel like im in a tornado of daylight savings, tequila and death
As long as he sees me topless I don't care. Redemption. REEEDDDEMMMPPPTTIIIOOONNNNN
and you will have a crown and it will be made of penises and all will bow before you and your glorious penis crown
We talked him into tasing himself.
I woke up naked, with the lights on, using my backpack as a pillow and a pillow as a blanket.
I had him autograph the condom wrapper.
Full contact beer pong was definitely not my best idea.
Sarah's knitting me a hat as an apology for unknowingly making out with my boyfriend
I love it when he cheats on me with nice people
You rode your bike four miles to my house. Yelled "I'm so high!" Then crashed into his car. It's a problem.
tried to suck my ex boyfriends dick last night at a bar... Happy homecoming from me to you
We told you to act sober so to prepare yourself you started doing squats and stretching then you slapped yourself and walked in
I may or may not have spiked my gatorade to get through a game of monopoly with these children.
Randomize
