I don't want her to kill herself before she gets over me, getting mentioned in a suicide note isn't very fly.
but it's kind of a high honor.
You should have been there to see the look on her face when I told her that my dog gives better head than her. It was a beautiful symphony of shock, anger, and disbelief.
Legit screaming match in this bar over the differences between cupcakes and muffins.
I don't think i can handle my uncle say again that kid rock is a true musician....
Thanks for sticking it out with old horseface last night... I owe you one buddy.
thats the 2nd threesome ive been accused of this week
Well, it's hard to say. Last night he puked a perfect circle around him on the floor, and then sat in it insisting it would protect him from the smoke monster. He's was still there last time I checked.
We were making condiment sandwiches, then her husband kept trying to get me to sleep with her. I hate being the only lesbian at the party.
I feel like it'll be a success as long as she doesn't end up dead in a ditch. There has to be a line somewhere.
Are we sharing a room, or can I pack my vibrator?
Yes to both. We'll use the workout rotation from dorm life.
Is it really road head if took place on kayaks in the river?
what the hell is that chicken wire thing she's holding?
An artistic expression of her stupidity.
I was so high I didn't realize I'd put on someone else's bra. I thought my boobs had shrunk.
I feel worse lying to the guy I hooked up with than I actually do for cheating on my bf
Just opened my sisters laptop to "cute places to lose my virginity" googled last
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