wat bout pragnant strippers??
She was drunk and kept trying to talk while I was in her mouth. It sounded like the teacher from a Charlie Brown cartoon!
He spent the whole night convincing me I wasn't fat, but after we had sex he said "Oh, I see what you mean"
it got awkward when she realized that our nickname for her was "The Hambeast"
I think my sister is getting tired of me breaking into her house so I can sleep with random girls when shes not there
Dont care what i do tnt just as long as i get to chug a beer in somebodys face
wait no I wore my bra home that morning. I stole someone's bra last night?
New rule. Every time you and I have a disagreement that lasts longer than 10min, while in a bar, we'll have a shot. Figure we'll eventually start agreeing sooner rather than later...
I wish drunk me came with subtitles
I'm going to bed early so football can come sooner
It was an all night sausage fest and I was the lady of honor.
It feels so wrong having a picture of my tits next to a picture of my daughter.
Blame the bisexuality and move on?
Are you ok? Who pooped in my office?
shes rolling around in the floor yelling my vagina hates me
Randomize
