so thats when we found her crawling hands and knees up first street singing hold me closer tony danza as loud as she could
did she say where she was going
apparently she thought she was on morton hill and was trying to go back to the bars
She started to rub her ass on my shoulder and i instantly thought "i am going to get E. Coli"
he came in the shower with me...i thought it was going to be nice and romantic...until he started peeing on my leg.
I was taking a bath and he burst in, sat down and started taking a shit. RIGHT BESIDE ME. My lack of privacy astounds me.
Imagine cans of beer raining. Like not hitting you and hurting you. Just gently falling into your hand whenever you're sad
Dad had me doing shots of chocolate mint Everclear last night. I've never felt closer to him.
Tell them to carpool to pride, have a 3way, and if one says 'no thanks' just tell em it's not gay if it happened in a 3way!
Could you imagine living in a city where bartenders are available by 1:30 AM
I'd have like 4 kids by now and at least one std
It happened to me once. But i washed off in a duck pond and walked home naked.
A blind guy just told me that even he could see i was gay and encouraged me to chat up the girl behind that counter bc he thinks we'd make a cute couple. Are all Canadians this helpful?!
Woke up with two different pairs of pants in the pockets of a jacket.None of the above are mine.
What's worse having drunken sex with hot married man or breaking the diet one week in?
My neighbor came out@4am in a pink nite gown n clotheslined a punk on a mo-ped w/her mop handle, then just walked back in her house like she just checked the mail. MILF 1 PUNK 0
Wow. Ok who would waste Game 7 ticket on kids?!
Poor parenting at its best
you said you heard a baby, so i told you to go feed it. you came back 2 hours later with a pizza and when i asked you where the baby went you pointed to the pizza and puked.
Randomize
