do you ever get flashbacks of ppl you had sex with and just shudder at how gross they were/how drunk you were?
story of my life.
She stopped mid-blowjob to introduce herself to us
And why did 3 people fail to stop me from literally getting a piggy back ride from the bar to his apartment?!
Sober December ended when I found beer behind my bed...I lost $2000 but spent 6 hours sober. Meet me at the bar?
she made sit in a corner, drink nothing but water and told me she was worried about me because i picked up an irish guy at a taxi rank. says the girl who invented tequila night and fucked a guy in a park across the street from a sweet sixteenth.
For future reference, Twizzlers CAN leave welts.
If you think for one second that I would forget Mardi Gras, you clearly don't know how much I love boobs.
I GOT THE PAPER IN AT 11:58
EAT MY ENTIRE ASS COM 101
COCAINE AND SUSPENSFUL BBC SHOWS DO NOT WORK.
I would wear his ballsack as a hat if he asked me to
Me-World Problems: do I have my boyfriend come to my birthday party in drag, or is that too weird for the first time meeting literally any of my friends
I just realized. I havent even gotten a paycheck from this new job yet and already laid one of the girls most of the dudes are after
Quit bitching. I brought you a muffin.
FACT: You were laying down on top the bar letting randoms do bodyshots off you until someone told theyre friend "its time to roll, i wanna hit another bar" and you literally rolled your self right off the bar. have fun explaining your bruises tomorrow
When was the last time you got laid?
When was the last time you came home sober?
touche
Randomize
