WOAH SHIT! That wasn't my girlfriend last night.
ur plase or mine? lol
well if you don't learn how to spell, you may be at your place and I'll be at mine.
i walked toward the cop car thinking it was the liquor store lights nd by that time it was too late to escape the trap
It doesn't matter if I tell the story beginning to end or end to beginning, the story still starts with a random girl blowing me in the bathroom.
You were dancing with a coffee pot of rum in one hand and a joint in the other. So that should explain everything.
I yelled out look at all those hickeys. And then gave her boyfriend a high five
I think I need a restraining order. I had 15 "selfies" of him on my camera roll......my phone has a lock code on it.
Sorry, I thought I responded to your question. My name is Jon, we kinda had a sleepover at your friends place in OC. Don't know if you remember me, you were "dick chugging" like there was no tomorrow last night.
I've replaced you with thin mints and masturbation
Why did I ever allow that penis to enter my sacred temple?
I'm so drunk. Remember me this way.
i put frozen meatballs in my drink thinking they were ice cubes and I'm vegetarian wtf
you flipped over the sheets and there was my bed. filled with ding dongs.
I just puke and rallied at my anniversary dinner #winning
We damn well better have a snow day tomorrow. We just broke out the rum.
Randomize
