Not that I thought your boyfriend was a phile
But the whole crossing guard thing? Weird.
Would you feel weird if I asked out ___?
You dont call on our son's bday but you want to know if I'll give you permission to date my best friend?
So...no?`
You don't have to be emotionally available for a blow job.
like in an apt above a crackhead. A LEGIT CRACKHEAD. he woke me up every morning this week asking me if I wanted to buy a mini fridge and some CDs. at 5 am. EVERY DAY.
i never thought it was possible to fit gay, redneck and asian into the same sentence before i met you.
and this wasn't even the first one i'd hooked up with
Was just explained ingredients in a four loko. Puzzles of the universe starting to piece together.
My living room is scattered with glow sticks wrappers, sparklers, face paint & beer cans?
It's not as cool looking when the drugs wear off, is it?
I don't like him near enough to give up day drinking AND my prostitute costume
I've got the dick your vagina needs, but not the one it deserves right now.
I mean, the sex was awesome last weekend, but I didn't even imagine I'd reached ovarian rupture status.
He asked me for a pic so I sent him a pic of my boyfriends dick.
I felt I lost my designated buddy on a field trip when you wandered off to get high with strangers.
WHAT A DUMBASS ugh I'm so glad he looks like a middle aged dad now
Remember when you gave their 80 year old doorman a line of molly at 5am?
Our sex sesh was interrupted by a bunch of hobos fighting outside his apartment.
Randomize
