speaking of unleashing monsters, we need to get condoms
It's a sad day when you have to slightly move your fupa to shave.
At least you're going to bed with all the teeth you woke up with
and i had to drink on "never have i ever unsuccessfully tried to seduce a virgin ginger"
dude, there's a fucking musical in my head. it's fucking awesome being this high.
As long as there aren't any pictures of me humping the penguin, we are good,
When the tupperware hit the highway it was like a vomit bomb
Well were gunna have to wash the couch cover now...maybe even the couch, soap or fire your decision
And I was like "take off the damn flower crown, we're about to have sex not post an indie picture on tumblr"
why not an indie porn pic then
Well you ended up trying to convince two Greek girls that you were Greek, but failed massively by shouting at them in Spanish, and then almost vomiting after taking way too much snuff. Maybe lay off the guinness next time?
the guy I've been trying to get with saw my brother's genitals before he saw mine, so that's my life.
AND ONCE AGAIN, MY VAGINA HAS STRUCK AGAIN. HER PLANS TO TAKE OVER MARYLAND ARE WELL ON THEIR WAY AS SHE CONTINUES TO ENGULF EVERY QUEER IN A 10 MILE RADIUS
Can you bring me some underwear? I feel uncomfortable going underwear less at a Remembrance Day ceremony.
If you could not mention to him that I slept with his best friend, that'd be cool of you.
Did you mark a random day on my calendar as National Seth Day?
Sounds like a legit day to me.
Randomize
