Think the blond can even spell "shiksa"?
We need to have an Itty-Bitty Titty Committee mtg somewhere in the range of 5 minutes to ASAP.
I gave him a handjob while watching the presidential address. Needless to say, it was weird.
sounds like you fell off the wagon.
fuck falling off. at this point, the wagon is a dot on the horizon.
you kept telling her you'd make a great step-dad while cuddling her and rubbing her back...
she gave me one of those friendship bracelets and said as long as I wore it it was like an all-access pass to her vagina
Swear to god, if I have to wingman for you on my honeymoon I'm gonna be pissed
I don't think he knows what shame means anymore. He gave some bar slut his sisters Tiffanys necklace, in exchange for anal.
You said that my dog would "complete your puzzle" then you got naked and took it behind the bar
She clicked her fingers, said "here boy!", and pointed at her vagina.
How do I tell her I need the lights out when I'm getting head because she and my mom share a perm color
Okay so for future reference and your own safety I should probably tell you that it is not cranberry juice in that bottle on the kitchen table.
we played his NES Classic. Turns out there is a warp zone to my vagina.
Woke up in a car, do you own a silver car parked a few miles form the house...hope so
Had a dick customer and the words "eat my ass" slipped out. He proceeded to lick his lips and say present it. I think it's time I quit.
Randomize
