he confessed his love for me, threw up on my pillow and then fell asleep on said pillow. i met him last night.
better than last weekend. things are really looking up for you.
he said i was weird because i want to have sex in public places.
i dont think thats weird i think thats fun
i forgot to tell you, he fell asleep outside my house again last night, but im weird
girl has like over 50 stars tattooed on her front, side and back. feels like i just fucked the universe.
She said she couldnt do it today but shed make it up to me next week
stick it in her butt and if she asks, say that thats what you thought she meant
Ive either hit rock bottom or become my own hero.
he cried for an hour, then he threw up on my lap then started singing party in the usa...opera style...
we got hammered off table wine and i ended up biting my acrylic nail off so i could finger his butt.. ill never look at valentines day the same
Well going home with a Ralph Lauren model helped me get over him real fuckin' quick. Would recommend it for all women going through breakups
he can get married early and ruin his life but he sure as hell isn't ruining mine with a shitty bachelor party
found one of my socks in the dishwsaher... xanax
I need to you to send me drugs via FedEx
pizza hut and my weed lady just showed up at the same time. I feel 22 again.
As I was blowing him, he proceeded to tell me that his friend who I blew years ago gave me a five star review on my BJ skills. And, he agrees.
Atta girl.
Woke up way too warm in the middle of a spooning sandwich. Was working up a rant about still not wanting a threesome. Then I realized the littlest spoon was the dog. Might need to break up anyway.
I didn't have any choice but to cuddle you. Your hair was stuck on my nipple piercing.
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