I accidentally threw away from slim jim and some lady saw me dig it out of the garbage. It was unopened but still, I look so homeless.
did he really ask u insert a warm banna in ur anal?
I mean i might have to drop this class tomorrow. I just walked into a midterm
still doesn't change the fact you were dunking your sock in the toilet.
Fire inspection over. Blunts are OK
Sunburnt clitoris. How do I deal with it.
you were just eating all his cookies and kept mumbling "them crumblies" when the crumbs got on your shirt.
In mid-threesome, need more condoms. Wearing a sheet to the gas station. I'll keep you posted
it is a toga and you are a goddess.
my head feels like a yellow yolk spinning in a circle at the bottom of the bowl.. i may have a concussion, love auto correct
I bet Billy Ray Cyrus wishes he had pulled out now....
Always a gay best friend, never a bridesmaid
Why do I like him? He literally has no redeeming qualities.
I HAVE 5 FELTING NEEDLES AND THEYRE GOING DIRECTLY INTO YOUR EYES IF YOU POST THAT SHIT
You were so drunk Last night you asked for your glasses so you could read the directions on a band aid
Fuck this virus. We’re finally back on campus but the bars suck parties are banned sports are canceled we eat in our rooms and can’t fucking hangout with anyone. I’m tired of virtual classes and involuntary celibacy
OMG IKR! It’s not college unless we’re puking in a toilet wondering if we’re pregnant or just hungover!
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