Ps what kind of horrible ppl are we that we both checked blackberries during sex and neither minded?
The problem with having your drunkeness documented at a wedding is not only does it show up all over facebook, but all over professional photography websites.
The fact that I found him in his Ninja Turtles t-shirt next to six empty and obviously consumed packs of EasyMac watching reruns of Becker certainly made telling him that I wanted a divorce so much easier than I had planned.
rethinking that breast reduction surgery... i'm tired of drunkenly explaining the scars to guys who don't really give a shit
Of course she said it wasn't that good, I don't bring my A game to pity fuck the thrice divorced girl from work
I think I'm going to make a pina klonopin before class.
He literally sends me dick pictures, EVERY DAY. SEVERAL DIFFERENT ANGLES ..it's like I GET THE POINT.
I just stood next to my childhood self. Fuck, I'm really stoned...
Who takes their shirt off at the bar?! Classy broad
I do. In all fairness there was someone else's blood on it.
Did you fuck him in my garden last night?
That WOULD explain the dirt in my vagina
WHY IS HE GONE WHEN I ACTUALLY HAVE THE AMOUT OF ESTROGEN TO HUMP A SQUIRREL?!?!
You can't talk like Dr. Evil to me five minutes after the greatest orgasm of my life.
I don't know what happened last night. But I just woke up in the high school boiler room
New goal find someone I love enough to use these Japanese pancake flavored condoms on
I always know im high when I can't remember how to pee.
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