never play flip cup with pint glasses
Spotted on freeway- girl in ford focus takes a hit from a 7 inch pipe while knee driving. She winked at me. I want her life.
did you know you can prarie-dog a fart??
like why cant he just admit that he still wants to fuck me even though im underage
They've started ranking girls from "paper-bag" to "I just came." Please come get me
I got groped on the dancefloor by both grooms. I love gay weddings
I shouldn't be home alone with this much peanut butter and the dog. I feel like i'm being recorded to see when my desperation will peak.
We've reached the point in our fuck buddy relationship where we are playing words with friends. This is too intimate.
They conduct scientific research memoirs about what sort of shit happened last night after I ate those cookies.
She has the perfect pussy. Looks like a paper cut with a puff of cotton candy on top.
you texted him "it's time for the no pants dance", please get your tubes tied.
On second thought, is it weird that I scheduled a surgery that determines my fertility around lingerie football night? I might have fucked up priorities.
Absolutely not. I would have done the exact same thing.
He's talking about me being Slave Princess Leia and how he'll chain me up. I don't have the heart to point out that he would be Jabba in that scenario...Is it bad that his lack of SW knowledge is destroying my lady boner?
Update: He still has devil magic genitals.
We played 2 very competitive games of Jenga and then fucked our brains out... BEST. RELATIONSHIP. EVER.
Randomize
