Hey man sorry, can't talk. I'm already taking risks by ripping the bong on this conference call.
Just saw all the pictures from the party. I'm wearing a different shirt in every single one.
How do the freshmen here NOT understand the tricks we are playing on them by now? Doesn't bode well for grad numbers. Idiots.
How's your threesome situation going?
Optimistic
I come back upstairs and she's leaning over sink full of vomit saying 'oh my god it's the chili'
It's 6 am, I'm drunk, and celebrating the end of finals.Go ahead and ask me where I am...if you guessed a McDonald's playpen then you are correct. Badabababa I'm loving it
We ended up at a lesbian bar and all my co-workers tried to get me laid. This is not how I envisioned coming out.
do you think me going to the gyno dressed as a cat is inappropriate?
I'm pants less watching buffy the vampire slayer drinking rum. I'm not that hard to impress
He's my favorite late night booty call. He lives next to a Wendy's.
The sex definitely would have been a perk. But not sitting in a ditch was what I was going for...
He wants me to fart in his mouth and is offering me SOOOO much coke. I'm stuck between a rock and a hard place. GIVE ME ADVICE.
HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT
So I just ran in to the Couger you saw me take home last month who i haven't talked to since then at Wawa and she was PISSED.. APPARENTLY i fucked her niece last week
Just ate 2 pieces of pizza in the shower.. New low or fuckin brilliant??
what could you have possibly accomplished by watching 6 hours of a mythbusters marathon
well, i added sex in a wind tunnel to my bucket list
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