my "about me" section on Facebook should read "hell-bound alcoholic who wants to fuck a 40-year-old crackhead"
So she comes up to me at the end of the night and asks me if I going to take her home and fuck her. I pretty much had to right?
you had an obligation.
Just because we buy weed together doesn't mean were a couple
Just because he saw my boobs doesn't mean he knows me all of a sudden
You told him you loved him!?
I mean if he translated "Zi luve ku" as that then yes.
juast therw a cheeeeesestirng over the fnce. stuckit to sombodys car winheild... gonna luagh if i find it mlted in the mrning.
Accidently said "your going to hurt the baby" when he got forceful with his thrusts. I guess I forgot to mention to him that we are pregnant.
I'm hoping they send me home from work drunk.
nothing like going to the bathroom, running into the wall, thinking its a person and saying"its ok i just had the 4 beers" even the wall knew i was lying
My last 2 google image searches were 'a lot of pudding' followed by 'a generous portion of pudding'
The paramedics said she just kept whispering "I just wanted to party"
sexting foreigners is the best. they respond with silly things like "love that tits"
Dude, you need better judgement.Trust me I know. I put my dick in the wrong mouths all the time
No more twerking this week. I think I dislocated a boob.
MY BUTT IS BIG ENOUGH FOR AN ANACONDA AND HE DOESNT GET TO ENJOY IT TOUGH SHIT
Randomize
