Is it bad everytime a fat person orders fraps I want to tell them to slow their rolls
just because you dressed up as a brontosaurus doesn't mean you can poop in my yard and roar at my neighbors
Im going to need an iv of taco bell after this.
My public calorie counter app is pretty much just a cry for help.
Wearing the 'Let's Party' thong feels weird without you...
I feel like everyone in class can tell we had a threesome last weekend.
I've justified worse with less. I had sex with your brother because he was wearing a nice sweater
As a Chick-Fil-A employee, I think you'd appreciate the visual of me almost accidentally pulling out my wallet with a thong hooked on it as I payed for my waffle fries just now.
I just had to remind myself that I'm visible in real life. Sitting in the car in a parking lot, and almost took my shirt off because the tag is itchy and I wanted it off... and you know I don't wear bras...
I ate a hotdog off the ground last night.
I don't remember much, but I remember he called me the dick whisperer, so it must not have been all bad.
I'm glad you got documented proof of my stupidity with a head full of nitrous
Hahaha and I'm glad you are doing whip its at a childrens basketball game
Had a dream we were competing for tomatos.
I want to be her friend more than I want to fuck her boyfriend.
Drunk me bought a cell phone last week and began texting sober me. The conversation between the two is still on going.
Randomize
