Was it a mistake telling him I couldn't get the abortion until I was 2 months along on the first date?
Ok I might come if this chair quits being so great...I'm also seeing this bush in the corner turn into a witch
We are going to get clementines. And shoot them out of a ballon launcher. That's after we come up to the ivy with a bullhorn and reck havoc. Where are you.
I don't remember anything that happened last night past 10.. I made him buy me a Buckeye's Donut tshirt. I have no idea why he'd want to fuck me after that.
Also. This Ativan makes me feel fearless. I think we need an exciting new hobby for when we take it. How do you feel about ghost hunting?
He broke up with me over the phone while I was getting my bush waxed into a "D" for his surprise birthday present. Talk about bad timing...
The gay is strong with you! You're more concerned about my outfit than my safety.
Omg just had weirdest best cab advice situation ever. I kissed the cabbies hand as I was leaving like he was the pope and cried
I just had sex in the men's bathroom of a Chinese buffet...
YOU ARE MY HERO
You are the jesus of drinking
he went down on me while I ate Oreos. I don't know what caused the orgasm.
I know it's wrong but I'm human. Now get over here, tie me up, feed me pizza and Fuck the crazy out of me. Please.
Any idea why my ass cheeks are bruised again?
The fact that theyre bruised AGAIN means you're not adult enough to know why.
He just blew a .079. Jesus loves him THAT much.
Like my mom really needs to know just how non existent my sex life is
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