you miss my big massive throbbing cock dont you?
Woah.
that's not how you spell hell yes.
I skipped work to stalk him.
wouldn't it be funny if when girls shaved their vaginas, they gave them sideburns?
The vibrator you gave me is probably the one thing I will never give up if we got robbed at gunpoint
Apparently I confessed my love for him last night. Also, my love for cash4gold commercials.
I think I need to stop sleeping with him. Sex with him is just a reminder of the mediocrity of the rest of my life.
Just ordered an appetizer sampler to distract the fat chicks so we can escape
I smoked a bowl while he ate me out, you need to change your major to match making asap. You are a guru of love.
I saw him walking to campus with his beer in his hand in the same sweats he wore walking to campus with a beer in his hand yesterday.
He corrected my use of grammar... I think we both know that means i have to sleep with him
I may wear a condom to jerk-off tomorrow knowing that my hand has touched surfaces in this bar.
Please don't pee your pants in the cab. One more time, and im pretty sure the cab companies will refuse to pick you up anymore
u kept repeating to itself "hot cheetos and nacho cheese sauce.."
Nothing makes the walk of shame as great as disapproval from a mom getting ready for work
He started me on Celexa. I think I feel like Bjork. Is that normal?
Like... my feet feel like little octopuses, and they want to swim to the next room.
Randomize
