What do you think she thinks of us?
I think she thinks we're whores... but ya I think she likes us
great sex! but now the fight over who sleeps on the wet spot starts.
I love drunk self when he leaves a prepacked bong for the morning... in the bathroom.
Just passed a guy passed out on a riding lawn mower in his front yard.
i am too hungover to go to class can you just call me and put it on speaker phone
i've never seen someone face fit so perfectly in a toilet bowl
Today the house voted to defund Planned Parenthood but to continue funding NASCAR. I fucking hate everything.
Waking and baking in my bathtub. In a giant sweater. And no pants. This is going to be the best 420 ever.
I'm just concerned it's gonna end up in my vagina again
Definitely sounds like it's time for some eggs with a side of strap on
I have a boner and a quesadilla why aren't you here
Bro, you're like, my right testicle. Can't go anywhere without you.
like, is this a date?? I'm sitting on his couch drinking a juice box while he makes taquitos in sweat pants
I have a black eye again and dont know why again
Look, I am sorry I shaved your cat...but get over it.
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