I dint menn to makr ut w brtendr
Wat???
U lft me at bar, no cassh for cab, may have slept with bartender
our cab driver is having phone sex.
Just ran four miles to popeye's. And back. Dedication.
Can u check his last FB check in, then come pick me up from there. Blame it on the tequila
I had to convince someone last night that the fact that he couldn't get me off wasn't him it was me and to clarify I had to tell him there was only. One person that got me off every time without fail, he said "that guy is my hero" you should be proud
Germany has fetish clubs for everything. We are going to Germany. Germany is our friend.
I need to be drunk within 15 minutes of getting home tonight.
It's funny that when I fall down as an adult I'm so much happier no one saw than that I'm not seriously hurt.
Goddamn it Peter ur the only person i know who can make going down on a girl a competition.
She won. Twice.
They only searched every other person. But I sacrificed myself to get our vodka across the border
He said that I started crying after sex because he was leaving to go back to Europe after the semester was over and I wouldn't see his dick anymore. This is why I need to stop hooking up with the exchange students.
You know Sunday Funday was a success when 'puke and rally' came at lunchtime on Monday.
Shriek
There is a woman in the stall next to me giving a pep talk to her daughter that wants to call off her wedding. I'm afraid to pee!
I heard Enya coming from steve’s room. I am too high to handle this sudden depth of character
Long story short I ended up getting choked out by a really hot guy in the girls bathroom at a bar last night
Randomize