Good news! Whoever used this stall at Target earlier...not pregnant!
im watching my roommate bang this girl. she doesn't look like she's any good, because he has a bored look on his face...
Getting drunk in a different country is not a good idea. Lets just say spanish women, 17 yr olds from missouri, prostitutes, and a poodle. I don´t want to leave spain.
I'm eating oreos and watching porn. This is your fault.
just watched an entire episode so you think you can dance for head. so wasn't worth it
remember what we learned. dont lure girls w/ food at the bar. u dont want those ones
I just need to know if he's either really genuine about being in my life or being in my vagina.
We are getting high tomorrow and being statues at the cafeteria. Come find us.
WE SHOULD FUCK TWO GUYS THAT LIVE TOGETHER
THAT WOULD BE SO CONVENIENT WE COULD CARPOOL
Come through the front door when you get here.
Right now I'm so wasted I can't determine whats a door and a window.
It's like God tapped him on the shoulder and said "You are now capable of giving world shattering, tear jerking head."
Can you not touch my dick while I'm holding a gecko?
Why does your place smell like gin and misery?
I prefer to think of it as 'ode to single life'
I just got CPR certified, don't make me need these skills so soon
I traded some nice guy at the bar ten bucks and a pack of cigarettes for his leather jacket. I'm pretty sure I win at life. Whoever is in my phone as Tyler Durden, I thank you.
Randomize
