it was like brushing your tongue but with a fucking long toothbrush.
His car is carseat is compatible. I checked while we were banging in the back seat...
There are topless girls riding the lawn flamingos. I win.
He's bringing condoms over for me in case we "bone".... the fact he calls it boning is not a great start.
She said just put your tongue in there and don't linger. I have other things to do.
Revised rule: don't put your dick in the general vacinity of mental instability.
Not even dry humping. Not even a little bit.
I guess, all I remember was giving you road head the whole way there so you wouldn't fall asleep.
also new logic of mine : I fuck a Scottish kid , Scotland national animal is a Unicorn airgo I've come close to fucking a unicorns descendent, mother always said dreams come true
How will you ever teach your dogs to pee outside when the biggest puddle on your bedroom carpet is from you?
MEG JUST LICKED A DRAIN PIPE. DAVE PUNCHED MATT IN THE THROAT. ALL BOUNDARIES ARE DOWN. I REPEAT. ALL BOUNDARIES ARE DOWN.
I'm sorry, that really sucks. I'm in the bath eating lasagna and if anyone comes in here it's going to be bad news for them
There is a fake eye lash glued to one of my balls.
I accidently sent a dick pic to the group chat with her family. Right after they all said it was a pleasure having me for dinner. Wana drink with me?
I just need to find someone whose kink is financial submission.
So I was walking to the bathroom and some random dude threw up while walking towards me. He kept eye contact the entire time and didn't stop moving.
Randomize
