I just walked in on my mom and dad......It wasn't my dad
non applicator tampons are so hard to put in when your drunk. i fingered myself for 10 minutes and forgot what i was trying to do.
Have you ever looked at the 750mL bottle of wine on the seat next to you knowing that it's just not going to be enough?
Each and every day.
I just found pie in my hoodie pocket... This break needs to end.
Okay, just a casual question: how did i manage to get grass stains on the inside of my bra?
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
I HAVEN'T FUCKED ANYONE IN FOREVER AND A HALF I DON'T DESERVE TO BE A TRASHY BLONDE
Just had sex in the darkroom, while a class was going on ten feet away. I finally have a good sex story.
Bring a bathing suit and your good liver.
My good liver is still at the dry cleaners. Will my backup liver suffice?
Maybe
Novelty of the week: Getting my lipstick back in an evidence bag
We need a hype man... Like a DMX type dude to just up the ante constantly...
I hear my roommate snoring and I feel bad for his girlfriend but then I hear them having sex and I guess it all works out in the end.
He has me blocked on facebook.... so I stalked him using my cats fan page.
You kept on yelling traitor and threatened to kill him and everyone he loves because he played beerpong with someone else
Her pegging playlist is all heavy metal so stay away if you wanna keep your ass intact
Randomize
