I'm pretty sure a girl doesn't give it up with a reverse cow girl...
There was a lot of him and a little penis
Someone just pulled taco bell tacos out of their purse in class....2 problems with here. 1) this class is nutrition 2) taco bell is not open this early.
When he came he kept saying "oh god oh god" and he sounded just like his dad. awkward...
The stoners next door have their couch on the sidewalk again, shirtless, soaking their feet in a baby pool and listening to loud ukulele music. I want their life.
It was like a lincoln log. Seriously. I don't know who's more pissed, me or my vagina...worst.hookup.ever.
When I find myself drinking from a boot I just go with it and refuse to ask why.
And by sexy pictures I mean pictures of my penis in strange places. I rock out with my cock out.
Your friend, the one I told I would brush his teeth with my tongue, what's his name again?
At my eighteen year old cousin's wedding. Getting hit on by a 9 year old. No one knows who he came with. I'm pretty sure he just showed up from the field behind the church. Help.
It would be like if I said I had the cure for cancer and my explanation was I like turtles.
I STILL HAVE A HARD TIME DECIDING WHAT TO WEAR IN THE MORNING HOW WOULD IT BE POSSIBLE FOR ME TO PICK A PAIR OF PANTS AND GO OH ILL JUST WEAR THESE FOR THE REST OF MY LIFE
Wow my largely unnecessary pool of lizard-related knowledge finally came in handy. Are you proud?
I don't know what to say
she threw up on her exam, awkwardly wiped it off with her sleeve and continued writing.
Got home. Somebody tried to sell me weed on the street. I've never had to try so little to find a dealer before.
Randomize
