Dude. I haven't taken a shit in a week.
Try anal, it works wonders.
It was worth having to clean the cum stains out of the carpet.
hell no. last time, i couldn't pee straight for a week.
He was the drug dealer that jumped out of his car to get my number
he made me feel like a shish kabob. his dick was the skewer.
and you said he wasn't worth calling.
im so hung over everytime my dog barks the sound vibration makes my whole body hurt
Or maybe I'll just keep introducing myself like, hello, they call me iane because I need the D. Applications are submitted online, women need not apply.
This is the drunkest I've ever been at a chili's
It's no shave November. This is our time.
Oh my god I need an adult
Wait shit I am an adult
What do you mean not that crazy? I had sex last night. with my\nBOSS. in the restaurant where we WORK.... ON A DINNER TABLE.
My mom has tinder, she is 45 and has her age setting at 18-29. And she still gets more matches than me
I'm still amazed at how you managed to get Doritos in my damn front pocket without me noticing. I got crumbs everywhere.
Listen this is important.. if I die tonight you have to be the drug dealer at my funeral
Hi I am on my way. I stopped and got the cheeseburger you asked for. Are you gonna pay me back?
Who is this?
Randomize
