Thong +tight pants =hungry butt. Not a good look on big women! Walmart sucks.
recess is on disney at 4 in the morning, insomnia has never been so rewarding
My mom just bought me $200 worth of booze on the condition that I promise I won't have to go to rehab eventually
I just signed a document stating that I would dd all summer if they would go pickup food.
Today I learned you can't titshake with a corset on.
Me and Phil are just drawing pictures of thumbs in different costumes during lecture. I love being a senior.
I was informed that last night we held hands while puking on the curb outside the bar.
We just have a real special relationship.
according to the video, you won you first drunken karaoke contest based off of your actual singing abilities and not because you took your shirt! I've never been prouder :)
he can get married early and ruin his life but he sure as hell isn't ruining mine with a shitty bachelor party
My passport was stamped in Canada two weeks ago. One step closer to uncovering wtf happened that night
I tried to settle their lesbian roommate fight by turning on Pretty Wild
I'm serious. I have boob tassles if this is an exchange thing.
I'm committing myself to dance. Also, I'm unsure if you said space party sounded lame because dude was old, but I hope you're over it because I love space, and I love David Bowie and I love to dance, and you need to embrace this with me.
Sometimes at I wake up from a dead sleep at 1am and call the bar just to hear the clink of the glasses and the pouring of the beer on tap in the backround
I guess I’m only into threesomes at Halloween, because I just woke up next to “Marilyn Monroe” and “Joe DiMaggio” in their condo
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