guess who just trotted in eating her oats and wagging her penis
Ok forget what i said about christmas break being awful. Chasing shots with fudge
no seriously he was fingering me like he was really really frantically looking for a song on his iPod.
he aplogized for the shitty sex and called me "ma'am" when he did it. And he wants redemption sex. Gah I love southern gentlemen.
Some drunk couple just made out on the sidewalk and it reminded me some sweet moments we have shared...
Just had a handjob preempted by a huge bolt of static electricity leaping from her fingertip to my sack. I hate this time of year.
I can't remember much about walking home last night. I think I kicked a dog.
we're tailgating intramural basketball with hard drugs and tequila...and i think the players are taking shrooms
I have no idea what's going on.... I just want to wear my horse sweatshirt and drink vodka.
Can you tell me how this chicken finger got in my pillow case?
Maybe not, but you have to admit watching him get hit by the car was gratifying
So I bought some random chick a shot she puked in her hands then I watched her make out with my roommate
We had sex on roll out bean bag chair, and then proceeded to sleep with a blanket with dolphins on it. Happy birthday to me.
Stop studying come to the bar get drunk and help me figure out how to get home pretend there are commas in there someplace
Thank god he came over. I had to have some good sex to makeup for all the bad sex I've been having.
Randomize
