Apparently i was the first person to introduce her to her clitoris. Needless to say...they hit it off great
too bad they don't have a 'people you may be able to do' thing on facebook. it would save me a lot of fucking time.
where are my pants?
you were passing out with two blankets and the person next to you was cold so you gave him your pants to keep warm
btw, i had a dream i drank 260-proof vodka last night. thank god that doesn't exist in real life.
Who would have guessed that on my moms birthday she'd have sex with the door open. :(
I want to start this convo out by apologizing for the broken toaster.
At front desk. Got a beer drinking pigeon.
just found out I caught the bouquet at the wedding. I win for being the drunkest yet most functional bridesmaid.
Well at one point he got ahold of my archery gear.. And I. Shit. You. Not. Sarah took an arrow to the knee.
The dopest dose you'll ever dose. I felt like an octopus all of thursday
well... I just junk punched a carnie. Doesnt matter how, it still counts for my bucket list.
Also, my aunt grabbed my phone and downloaded the scriptures. Apparently I need Jesus.
i think we watched the dark knight rises after you left but i might have passed out through most of it. I remember crying at the end though. sad tears then happy tears.
I had my room mate call my phone after last night and it was in an uncooked quesadilla
I'm to the point where I just want to get back at him in a hot man sex tornado way.
Randomize
