Any of you guys fuck a 16 year old again? Because our front yard got fucked over high school style.
I saw him at work today and he gave me a really awkward "I know what you do drunk" look...
My New Years Resolution was to get a girl I dont know pregnant. 8 months later I can check that off the list..
just brushed my teeth with a bottle of jack. ew. not all it's hyped up to be.
She introduced herself as 'Ann the sober one.' Took me to a coat check and a lost and found. Then offered coffee and breakfast sandwiches. Turns out she's been paying her half of the electric bill running post-party operations.
I saved him as teletubby in my phone....that can't be a good sign. I'm not answering.
It was fun until the stripper told me it was her first day and started crying.
First of all, I don't like eggnog. Second of all too much rum is all bad. And thirdly I'm not there to sit in your lap and pretend you are Santa and I've been a bad girl.
Nvm, he just almost drank his drink from last night, his drink that has the condom in it. Kinda answers my question.
Can you technically cross something off your bucket list if you don't, per say, remember it....?
You kept trying to make cocktails with my protein powder last night...
I just scored a new eye doctor and a date all in one email. BOOM!
Monday funday. I brushed my teeth with antibacterial soap. hangover I did not have.
i woke up in just my thong, face first on my bed with all the lights on. how hungover do you think i felt?
What use have I for dignity? It just get's in the way of the really fun stuff.
Randomize
