i threw up in a trash can last night at kellys irish times. but in a trash can because i'm a lady
i can't believe i never thought of this: farticle man
what did gay clubs do before lady gaga
I just saw a girl walking up the hill with a little red wagon full of booze... I want to be in her study group.
He kept dropping hints about giving me crabs. Like he called my pubes a nest and said he "hoped there weren't any eggs in there."
I can't tell if they're having sex or watching the beach scene from Saving Private Ryan. All I know is I hear explosions and men screaming and crying
Well... He is a good looking man underneath all the fat and muff.
You almost set me on fire last night.
You probably deserved it.
I just saw a guy in a sombrero and holding an inflated blow-up doll in all her "glory" get escorted out of the mall. I hate Marley.
She bought my penis dinner and beer last night. Her words
My bar tender texts me around 5ish and ask what I feel like, so it's ready for me when I get home. All star service.
Dude. You are the LAST person that should live above a bar.
You said you liked how I put the cream cheese on.
I've had my dick out in public way too much for someone my age...
THIS IS WHAT CELL PHONES ARE FOR! So you can tell me that you're bringing your coworker who lives in the "Halleleuia community" home for a beer SO I'M NOT DRESSED IN LEATHER LINGERIE WHEN HE WALKS IN THE FUCKING DOOR!!
My professor just said irregardless, get me out of here
I guess he's ir-illiterate
Randomize
