I only have two rules. But i've fotgotten those rules and replaced them w 2 other rules
Thanks for the three minutes of sex tonight.
Do you ever make guys send you dick pictures just cause it's hilarious?
just got drunk at a party with Christmas themed solo cups.. holidays are officially here.
Is it sad that I find it completely normal that I just took batteries out of a vibrator to put them in a pencil sharpener so I could do homework?
I find this completely acceptable.
you kept say ridiculous things then repeating them in perfect classical latin. You are onee intelligent drunk
I don't know where Tiffany is but I just saw her shoes in the bar lost and found
All three shower stalls were filled with couples fucking and then someone yelled "switch" and... We switched
Just used my front-facing camera to check my pupils. Technology!
The lady at target couldn't scan my grocery item and just looked at me and said "just take it. I hate this fucking place". Best munchie adventure yet.
I'm at a gyno in Japan. Safe to say every possible rule of etiquette is about to be broken. Buckle up, motherfuckers.
It wasnt until i started dancing that i realized i pissed myself dude. I dont think shes gonna call me back.
What's dad's email?
[email protected]
i refuse to sex anyone who doesn't get my lord of the rings references. no exceptions.
Putting plan B on my parents credit card wasn't the smartest idea
Randomize
