toast her oven
toast her strudel
inspect her gadget
I like how she turned her beer into a wet t-shirt contest
Last night I fell down in the street (I think in someone's vomit), cut my knee up, lost my moms necklace and my license, and had to walk back to the hotel.
idk. I was on the deck with Dominic and i felt something weird on my arm. I looked down and you were licking my elbow.
while she was riding me, she looked at me and said "this is why mom told me learning how to ride a horse would be important for my future"
What the fuck could you be doing in that room to make her yell "Beginners Luck!" over and over again?
Right now I'm in a club where they are passing out glow in the dark dildos by the dozen. I don't think my life will ever get weirder than it is at this moment.
You told me to keep you from drinking, but we both know I'm not that kind of friend.
Pretty sure I was impersonating Rihanna when I kept asking him what my name was while we were making out
Need to find a Santa hat to fit my penis, he deserves to be festive too.
MY BUTT IS BIG ENOUGH FOR AN ANACONDA AND HE DOESNT GET TO ENJOY IT TOUGH SHIT
Rock bottom: having sex rejected while your boyfriend talks in his sleep as you stuff your face with Girl Scout cookies
I woke up remembering only that I got pulled over by a cop, then looked over and found that same cop, naked.
2020 sucks, I want a refund
I love random hookups in covid sex. Usually girls think me about a one and a half to a two and a half but now that I got this mask on I'm a Solid 6.
Randomize
