You know it's an interesting night when you drunkenly scream at your boss, "You'd make a HORRIBLE OBGYN!! You're hands are ENORMOUS!"
pretty sure i remember announcing that i lost my virginity to that brad paisley song when it came on during power hour?
i think i just put your shirt on , but i don't remember . my body can't decide if it wants to move in slow motion or fast forward
You know who really doesn't like surpise in-your-face air guitar solos? Strangers.
you know by doing this we are using dad as a drug mule right?
And the clouds opened up and the sex gods said I hate you alfalfa
im that hungover where parking at red lights has to be done
If she has AMC, I may have to fuck her today. I want to catch up on the walking dead.
C'mon pople!!! THursday afternoon isnot gonna drinkin itself!!!
Going to the bathroom drunk while wearing overalls is such a struggle
showering high made me realize that i should seriously reconsider my career path... id be a damn good hair shampooer & head massager
I think you just miss his friendship.
I think it's his ability to give me multiple orgasms.
im drinking out of a pineapple, so yea.
When the stripper from this weekend is your cashier at Publix the next day 😐💀#pensacolaproblems
Just rode a bull topless for a free bar tap for a month
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