I need to talk to you about an important matter involving lesbians.
I don't know what's more sad: The fact that he fingered the side of my leg, or the fact that the side of my leg feels like a vagina.
We've finally come to the understanding that as long as our conversation stays stricaly sexual, we get along.
Blonde 1 is sitting on the floor crying and blonde 2 is asleep with her face in the toilet. This isn't what I had in mind when they asked me back
It was like she tried to cover up all the weight she gained with a fake tan...
the laptop wouldn't balance on his lap. that's how well endowed he is.
Three questions... How drunk were you? How long until we can make fun of you for this? Do you even really need a spleen?
That's just a really flattering way of saying, "Yes, you're useless, but you have great tits."
Is it rude to ask for an autograph after giving him a blowjob in their hotel's hot tub?
If I end up in a healthy relationship because of this, I will NEVER forgive you!!!
he just cleaned his wound with pinnacle whipped
I'm happy I peed in your laundry basket last night
Basically I think I'm replacing men/sex with theme parks.
My mother just set me up with the son of the man I fucked last weekend. I could crawl under a rock and die OR I could remember the rules of genetics and hope that JR takes after daddy. Wish me luck...
So Blakes coming home... so if youre like fingerbanging the shit out of yourself on the kitchen table...wrap it up
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