I attract so much trash. The guy that is engaged and kissed me is here so is his fiancé. I feel likeshw knows and will cut me in the bathroom might happen. If I'm not at the pool tomorrow she has blonde hair and is really flat.
I heard from anne today. She has a broken collarbone and is knocked up. Apparently florida is awesome
Woke up this morning on my couch at 6am fully dressed including heels, holding half a corn dog. I called you last night when I was buying the corn dog from a street vendor, I think.
I am in love with you.
Package from mother. Contents: Cookies, my old pokemon cards, and condoms. Note: "These have a July 2010 expiration date so give them away or use them with a gal that would be a great daughter in law. Love Mom" Love you too momma
do you think the bartender judged us for asking for shots of well vodka and water chasers?
Streaking across a girls college rugby game is probably the best, and most painful, decision I've ever made
well, the drug dealer I've been fucking the past 5 months gave me a chilis gift card for Christmas, so things are looking up.
I'm on the struggle bus
just ordered a number 1 at a fast food restaurant that doesn't have numbers
he just hooked up with some chick in a bedroom upstairs so I just went to sleep in the pantry closet...
tried to make it look like I had been conscious/awake and out all day when I stumbled into cvs at 6pm to buy plan B
update: I failed
no we have a special triathlon I'm entering us in. drinking, fucking, and sleeping. I think we have a good shot.
forgot to tell you your neighbor walked out of her house this morning just as I was leaving shirtless
I've decided to have sex with him one more time to make sure I don't like him
This is the fifth time tonight that girl has taken off my pants. Take me home. Now.
She shouldn’t care what consenting adults do behind closed doors
You do realize it was her husband you were hooking up with behind that door, right?
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