That was rough. We had a 50% puke rate and 100% still drunk rate at lunch
Coffee is gods way of saying go ahead, get absolutly trashed on weeknights, I got your back
I had fun this weekend too. According to Web MD, my symptoms say I had a miscarriage.
Synchronized big wheels back flips off the second floor roof. Good idea or great idea?
Just talked to Kate. She said I called her on Friday night. She said I was crying for 5 minutes because we were parked in front of a fire hydrant.
The money is just too good to quit doing it. I'm using the same justification strippers use.
I mean I don't object to weird looking penis as long as it gets the job done. I just need to get it in. I'm gonna be humping chairs soon.
I drank, I fought, I made my ancestors proud.
And then someone hit me with a pool cue
Fuck you, if it wasn't for us going to the city, she would be using me as a human sex toy all day.
you know you're drunk when you start breaking down your body composition into organic molecules
About to go make a man out of a 24 year old boy
As I shove my ninth taquito of the day into my mouth...
Picking our battles
I'm not fucking any of these fools. But if they want to buy me Olive Garden, that's their business.
Irony: drinking your pre workout supplement out of the cup your Krispy Kreme doughnut holes came in.
Does sending her to the conference instead of a competent employee and putting her in a suite make up for banging her husband behind her back?
No, but she’ll have a nice memory when she gets dumped and fired on the same day.
One of my tenants at my fourplex that I own gave me a massive bag of severely dank pot and a brick of cocaine because she didn't have the cash to pay the rent. She might just be my favorite tenant!
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