all i know is that they all tuched my pee cup last night.
Wife passed out. Doing shots with the hot bartender... Don't tell me I don't know how to celebrate a 1yr anniversary
Don't be offended. I can't even stand sleeping next to my dildo after I'm done, let alone a whole person.
Honestly, it's not that easy picking a Saturday night outfit that can translate to Palm Sunday mass. Priorities.
I'm making you a bingo card for hookups of the school year 2011-12 so you can make even worse life decisions next year
I think I should advise against you hooking up with a guy that throws "the shocker" up in all of his pictures on facebook. Just sayin.
I just ran into the married chick you banged 2 years ago at our apt! She asked me if I could get her coke! Memories bro. Memories
and now i get to think about how i fulfill a gay man's harry potter fantasy. thanks for that
I don't feel bad about fucking old guys. That's what I want. It's what I likeeeeee.
I got laid while wearing a shirt with a picture with my little brother deep throating a banana on it.
I told him I was gunna have sex with him in both of our cars at the same time.
I'm just going to take the mature adult root and ignore him for a bit, and then pretend like I didn't see him jerking off.
I literally just ordered a gold medal online that is engraved with his name, "01.01.16", and "BEST SEX EVER"
His parents bailed him out, the police said they found him on a curb trying to call people on his wallet, hahha. He had his wallet open to his ear callin people
It's not a hangover, it's "slept on a couch with another person and said person moves a lot and is loud"
Randomize
