I texted him about a book we both like. I was expecting a "ya great book... let's bone" response. It didn't work
Only at my house do scrabble games turn into fist fights. I won though... the fight not the board game.
All I want for christmas is my sobriety back.
dude this girl next to me farted in the middle of a quiz and denied my high five
bitch
We're cuddling on the couch that me and his brother had sex on...this feels wrong
if the best thing you can say about him is "he probably wont kill me" you may want to rethink hanging out with him
No that's sign language, not a drinking game. I tried to join
No, he attached a coozie to his crutches so he can carry his beer around the party.
She tried to sleep on the front steps of her salon so she wouldn't be late for work and these people put her in a cab to my house. She is nothing if not responsible. Can u imagine her boss finding her there this morning?
Employee of the year! :)
Dave when you find that upper decker at your house its from me but its for Jill not you
There is a hatefuck that has the destruction level of an atom bomb raging through my viens just aching to vaporize her.
Going to the beach. Greeting Sandy with a blunt. Wish us luck!
Jesus horatio Christ I forgot my mittens and am considering shoving my hands down the pants of the first semi attractive man I see
I fucked that choir dude last night. he had the most strangely musical moans. it was like a Sound Of Music porno.
Well this guy just went into a detailed lecture about how rinos are developing into unicorns.. It's gonna be a good night.
Randomize
