Jesus was obviously not given an itemized list of your sins before he died for them
If I saw Perez Hilton naked I think I would stick a lit candle down my throat.
I just accidentally stumbled into an AA meeting...I think its a sign
do you realize that she was the awkward lesbian in high school and now bangs more girls than probably both of us combined?!
when i'm drunk i think im just gonna point at him and yell adultery is a sinnnn. youre going to helllll
The higher i get, the less gay he looks, and the more i want to make out with him. This is dangerous.
Why are all the dvds taped to the fish tank. Really.
Tonight will bring shame to my future grandchildren.
Snuck into a camper in someone's yard. Hotboxing. Can't wait until they go in it.
I think I broke a hole in her wall trying to do backflips
You rode your bike four miles to my house. Yelled "I'm so high!" Then crashed into his car. It's a problem.
You were discovered in a bush, smoking, and singing "in the jungle" to yourself. Which explains the scratches, but not the orange paint.
Ah, but I don't wear underwear. Every day is Commando Wednesday.
I mean, I'm shallow, narcissistic, and selfish, but I'm an amazing friend sometimes
These tits shall not be calmed
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