Yes. Being a lesbian's wingman is a fun as it sounds
vagina is talking i cant
hey remember that 14 year old i met 5 years ago who i said i would bang 5 years from then?
Yup.
...and all my boxers are outside in the snow because????
i just kept saying he was red & i was blue and we couldnt become purple. I started crying at one point
The girl I hooked up with in exchange for Ramen freshmen year is living with the girl I currently wish to bang.
Try oodles of noodles this time.
Bad idea to be in a car concussed. I just described his dick as an elevator. I think i meant escalator, i dont know
Where was Alyssa when you were sniffing the bouncer?
Passed out on some guy who looked like someone from Duck Dynasty.
he went down on me to a drake song and now i think i need a penicillin shot
I spent most of the stoned conversation with my dad proving to him that the Newfoundland is an actual dog and NOT a Snuffaluffagus-esque figment of my stoned imagination, while laughing over the fact there is actually a place caller Dildo, Canada. Have YOU taken time to be a good dad today?
I'm so glad you support me having casual sex with your uncle
Black magic does not go near my vagina, it's a rule
Do you ever get so high you're like vibrating
You do it and I'll burn these mermaid pants so help me God.
Everyone else's "needs" are getting in the way of my alcoholism.
Randomize
