the shit that comes out of a woman's mouth when she knows you can't hit her is fucking unbelieveable
im watching my roommate bang this girl. she doesn't look like she's any good, because he has a bored look on his face...
flash back: i gave smirnoff to a group of children at walmart
Sorry I didn't pick up for your booty call. I usually am asleep at 4:00 on Thursdays. Like a normal person.
Housekeeping just called to see if we were okay bc they came in the room earlier and we didn't move.
he just flipped me off the bed, said "deal with it", and came on me.
Tough to say exactly how to play this. I just know people don't like surprises when genitals are involved.
He asked me out while I'm back in town. I have to acknowledge and honor his persistence.
Your vagina must be laced with cocaine...
Tid bit for you to add to your "what to expecting when you're expecting to lose your virginity" book... Sex on nyquil is cheaper and BETTER than sex on esctacy AND you sleep like a champ after so you're not able to think about any bad decisions made.
The only thing worse than being hungover is being hungover and not able to open your mouth wide enough to eat a cheeseburger
Know what I do when I'm in that mood? Whenever anyone talks to me I just hiss like a cat. They go away.
You fell asleep on the toilet and he was like uh should I take her off?
but seriously, if you see a redhead running down the street tonight in a carrot costume, call 911. He's tripping hard.
Not exactly hook line and sinker right away, but I'll give him a second chance. I should sext him me in my blue shark onesie.
I made it 1 week... 5 business days at my new job before sleeping with my coworker.
Randomize
