His friends call him "Gasm".... Im going for it.
i dont know what it was but it was definately NOT a vagina
do to the flooding of the park, there will be a midnight bikini mud wrestling party behind my dorm. all are welcome.
the most drunk i have ever been? possibly. the most drunk i have ever been on a monday? definently.
I try to help out whenever I can. Speaking of rough nights I woke up half naked on Brady's couch with bloody paper towels duct taped to my foot.
The lid of our salsa is promoting a contest that ended in July '09
I do have a life. It just consists of making scarves and chesse straws now
I worked so hard to shave everything last night. EVERYTHING. He WILL be answering my phone calls. Otherwise he's passing up awesome random birthday sex.
After we drank 3, we built a raft out of the empties and installed the fourth submerged In the water to keep it cool. Keg boats are now a thing
I should probably stop recommending my dentist to the different guys I'm seeing. That could be awkward in the future.
I just said "I love my cat" as a hobby.
Got drunk in Atlantic City Flagged down some guy with two wrapped tampons like road flares for a cigarette.
Hold on, I'm taking nudes in a blanket fort right now
Soo are you just gonna poop in my bathtub and not talk to me anymore...?
I'm totes in the mood to go home and like blindly inhale dangerous amounts of porn
Randomize
