So ps i'm not pregnant with any athletes illegitimate children : )
I feel like she's the kind of girl who always ends up with guys who have oddly shaped dicks..
I think we should make Neil Patrick Harris a permanent part of our role playing.
Worst relationship ever. Keep in mind I've dated two married chicks and a Mormon.
Then he wanted a handjob in the car. While my cousin was driving. To krispy kreme. And there was someone else in the backseat.
Jesus...So southern.
Oh btw, that was a wonderful blow job. You did a good job.
Give me one reason I shouldn't put the phrase "sex emotions" into my essay.
No.
I think our prof has caught onto our drinking game. He burst into the room with a big smile on his face and yelled "essentially! Essentially! Essentially!"
That's the ultimate walk-of-shame: running away from your own apartment and hiding in a McDonald's.
Today I learned I and my bar naps were the subject of a bar meeting.
I'm gonna give the church their tithe, and the rest is a down payment on boobs.
All I remember is an overwhelming desire for chicken nuggets...
Yes, you pinned my brother to the floor by the throat and threatened to slaughter his family if he didn't drive to mcdonalds and get you some.
On a scale of 1 to hungover I’m definitely throwing up at the office today.
Hey, what's the French word for when you meet your boyfriend's friend and you have that gut feeling that you smoked pot naked in a hot tub with him at a house party years ago?
Actually I really wish that I was drinking so I could ask him for breakup sex and then later blame it on my alcoholic tendencies. Maybe tomorrow instead.
Randomize
