hahaha Yeah oh well, she wrote on my facebook wall, That's almost like a digital hand job
I don't even know why I got my vag waxed
Ugh, tell me about it. As each day passes and the hair grows more, I get a little more depressed.
Wow. Thanks for becoming another fan of something on Facebook. You make me want to gouge my eyes out.
apparently my insurance doesn't cover road head. Bummer.
Swear to god, if I have to wingman for you on my honeymoon I'm gonna be pissed
Idk. Each time I ask him about double teaming a woman with Dennis Rodman he just giggles. We will never know what to believe.
but I'll probably watch some porn later so it's not a complete waste of a Saturday night.
I chugged vodka from a 15 ft snorkel. What the fuck did you do with your life today?
I thought i lost my bra, but when i went back to help clean it was hanging up on the wall
Showering in not my own throw up is really hittin the spot right now.
The bong is packed and it's taco Tuesday come over
I'm cutting her off I can't have my good name soiled with these kinds of shenanigans
Shit is preposterous
You passed out in your dogs bed and you only willingly woke up because I told there was a bottle of vodka and a snickers bar waiting for you upstairs
You have got to be the only man who has passed out while getting a lap dance.
Jungle juice breakfast? No? Ok.
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